How to Choose the Right Wedding Officiant
When it comes to wedding planning, most couples focus on the dress, flowers, and music—but there’s one decision that can have a huge impact on your entire ceremony: choosing your wedding officiant.
Your officiant sets the tone for your ceremony and guides you through one of the most meaningful moments of your life. As someone who’s helped coordinate weddings all across North Carolina, I’ve seen just how important it is to choose the right person for this role.
Whether you’re getting married in a church, at a wedding venue or in a backyard, here’s what to consider when selecting the perfect officiant for your wedding:
Find Someone Who Fits Your Personality and Wedding Vibe
Above all else, your officiant should feel like a great match for you. Every couple has a unique style envisioned for their wedding—whether it’s formal and traditional, casual and lighthearted, or somewhere in between.
Think about:
Do you want your ceremony to be more spiritual, religious, or secular?
Are you hoping for a more serious, heartfelt tone or a fun, playful approach?
Would you feel more comfortable with a close friend/family member officiating, or a professional?
Make sure your officiant's speaking style and personality align with the vibe of your wedding day. You should feel comfortable and connected with them—they’ll be leading one of the most personal parts of your celebration.
If You’re Considering a Friend or Family Member as Your Officiant…
Be sure to they are a good fit! Many couples love the idea of having a close friend or family member officiate their wedding—and it can make your ceremony feel even more personal and meaningful. In many states (including North Carolina), it’s fairly simple for someone to become ordained online and legally officiate your wedding.
However, before choosing someone you know to lead your ceremony, here are a few things to keep in mind:
Comfort with Public Speaking: Your officiant should feel confident speaking clearly and comfortably in front of a crowd.
Strong Communication Skills: They’ll need to guide your guests through the ceremony, so it helps if they’re well-spoken and can express themselves naturally.
Organization: A friend or family officiant will still need to review the ceremony script, keep things on track, and handle the legal paperwork for your marriage license.
It’s also important to give them plenty of time to prepare and practice—especially if this will be their first time officiating a wedding.
As your wedding coordinator, I can help support them by providing sample ceremony scripts, managing the timeline, and making sure they feel confident leading your special moment.
If You’re Planning on Hiring a Professional…
Be sure to consider their experience and reviews. Expertise matters, especially if you’re having a more formal or complex ceremony. Ask how many weddings they’ve officiated and whether they’ve worked with your venue before.
Reading reviews from past couples can also help you get a sense of their professionalism and presence during ceremonies.
Also check on their ability or preference with personalized ceremonies. Some officiants offer completely customizable ceremonies, while others may follow a more set script. Be sure to ask:
Can we write our own vows?
Are there specific rituals we can include or exclude?
Can we approve the ceremony wording in advance?
The right officiant will be open to working with you to create a ceremony that feels personal and meaningful.
Make Sure They’re Available for Your Rehearsal!
This is a step many couples overlook! It’s incredibly helpful to have your officiant attend the wedding rehearsal.
During the rehearsal, your officiant can:
Walk through the ceremony with you
Answer questions about vows or special rituals
Help your wedding party feel at ease
Practice their entrance and exit
Having them there ensures everyone feels confident about how the ceremony will flow—and allows you to focus on enjoying the moment when the big day arrives.
And Before the Rehearsal, You Should…
Discuss all the key details of your ceremony. This helps avoid confusion during the rehearsal and ensures everything flows smoothly on the big day.
Be sure to cover:
How long you expect the ceremony to last (this helps with timing for your timeline and vendors)
Any special rituals or traditions you want included, such as unity candles, sand ceremonies, or religious or cultural elements
How you want to handle your vows—whether you’re reading your own, repeating after the officiant, or doing both
How you’d like to be introduced at the end of the ceremony (For example, “Mr. & Mrs. [Last Name],” “The Newlyweds,” or another title that fits your style)
Having these details finalized before the rehearsal allows your officiant to guide everyone confidently and ensures your wedding party and family know exactly what to expect.
Your Ceremony Should Feel Like You
Choosing an officiant isn’t just about filling a role—it’s about selecting someone who can help tell your story and create a ceremony that feels authentic and memorable.
With the right officiant (and a thoughtful wedding coordinator to help manage the details), your ceremony will be one of the most meaningful and joyful parts of your entire day.